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Permalink Reply by Linda Ibanez on July 5, 2008 at 1:34pm

Wow! I'm all over the place for this one. Before being diagnosed with type1, I was diagnosed with depression. Now I know it was all connected. When I have a dark day, I have a list of things that I try to do to embrace them. i.e., go for a walk, play upbeat music, just go ahead and cry, clean out the spice drawer, tai chi, some times it works and some times it doesn't work.

Stopping the mind chatter is very helpful. Stop repeating those yucky thoughts in your mind. When I started doing this it was alarming how much talking goes on in your head. Stinking Thinking. I also go to YouTube and click on The Work by Byron Katie. She makes you question your thoughts. 3 questions to be exact.

And there are days I just tell my self I'm taking off from being diabetic. I don't take my blood sugar that day all day long. Ooooh! I'm a rebel! Since I'm on a pump, I just bolus for meals. I have yet to stray into danger with that. This is enough right now, to help me get by.

I'm more frustrated about the ignorance of people out there (and even diabetes educators, dieticians and doctors) about diabetes. Oh you can't eat that has sugar! I had a dietician tell me I needed to wait 20-30 minutes after giving myself a shot to eat. (I guess someone forgot to tell her about fast acting insulin). I was placed on 60 carbs per meal when first diagnosed because that's what they did for all patients. I eat 60 carbs a day now.

I feel obsessed about how did this happen. What caused it? How long had I had this before being diagnosed? What if we had caught it earlier? I will say, I have really enthrolled myself into nutrition, supplements, and exercise. I took a physiology class (I wanted to understand how it's suppose to work before it stopped working) and I eat healthy organic foods and exercise now.

I have a daughter who has type 1 also, and that helps keep me focused. I feel I have to figure this out for her.

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Permalink Reply by Linda Gauvin-Miller on July 5, 2008 at 5:24pm

Salutations Linda! How old were you when diagnosed...and how old is yor daughter?I must say, you're doing all the right things...and you're keeping up on the latest re. D. You're right...your children ARE your inspiration...all the best and take care...linda in canada.

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Permalink Reply by Linda Ibanez on July 7, 2008 at 12:20pm

Linda in Canada, I was 44 years old. Ended up in the hosptial because "we" thought I had food poisining. Nope DKA. My blood work 6 months earlier reported sugars of 95. Hmmm! But knowing what I know now, I feel I have always had it, I just ate to stay ahead. I was known to eat anything and I was exercising. My daughter 5 months earlier ended up in the hospital with DKA, she had been treated for stomach virus, for three months prior. She had lost 49 pounds and the doctor could not find the cause. He wanted to treat her for an eating disorder.

We almost lost her at the age of 15, she was in CCU for 5 days, before her numbers balanced. She had an ear, gladder and kidney infection. Her glucose was 857, but the issue was the acid in her body. She did get some kindey damage and we don't know what else the future will bring. No one in our family has diabetes.

She is 19 now, and I am 48.

Kind regards Linda

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Permalink Reply by Linda Gauvin-Miller on July 7, 2008 at 1:05pm

Good God!!!!!!!!!!!!...To shed so much weight so rapidly screams out DIABETES!! You would think that the first thing they would do is to send you/your daughter out for blood work...that's a basic standard...but hey...what do we know, right? Praise God it all worked out for the best. Take care, linda.

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Permalink Reply by Lee Ann on July 7, 2008 at 2:03pm

I didn't take care of myself for a long time, so now I remind myself how much better I feel physically and emotionally now that I manage it. I'll remind myself that my hubby trusts that I'll do the best I can so we can have a long life together, and I want to honor that trust. I'll also think about my goals in life, and how I need to be well if I want to accomplish them, reminding myself that there is a reward for the work even if it feels like punishment or an inconvenience in the moment. Sometimes, I'll talk to my hubby, and sometimes I'll just be sad and cry, but I'm able to pick myself up afterwards. It's obviously normal to feel sad, angry, frustrated, etc., but as long as you don't allow yourself to get stuck in those feelings to the point where they handicap you or become a barrier to self-care, it's OK to allow yourself to experience those feelings.

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Permalink Reply by Dana Clark on July 11, 2008 at 11:01pm

This was a previous blog of mine and I gave it a lot of thought and wanted to share it here....
After being diagnosed at 25, and now being 38 and NO ONE around me having diabetes (work and family)- I've sort of been used to doing it all on my own. Here is what helps me stay happy and healthy.

1. Support team- kids, husband, family, doctors, nutritionist, and (finally) online community! I'm not alone! I have never been alone with this disease! Talk about the ups and downs and what is going on. People will listen and love you for who you are. My kids will always give me the biggest hugs and love me - regardless...

2. The "new" Skinny ME! (ie: Achieving and working on a goal) - It's taken 2 years but I've finally lost the baby weight and am down 22 lbs. It's like- "I'm BAAACK!!!" I feel good about myself- no more "Fluffy Old Me". Losing weight with Diabetes is tough, hard and sometimes near impossible. With the same discipline I apply to diabetes I was able to do it for ME.

3. Cute Bag/Accessories- Stick Me Designs has super cute stuff. I just upgraded from the ugly black bag and now I'm ultra-fab and modern now. And it goes with my Coach purse quite well!

4. Lead by Example and Be Proud- I'm out there with my diabetes- it's a part of me. I educate people, talk about it, do shots in public, whatever I have to do.

5. Talk and Discuss- It's okay to let people know if you are having a good day, bad day, so-so day, challenging day, feeling not-so-great day, I hate-this-disease day or I feel fabulous day! The worse thing you can do is keep all of the emotions bottled up.

6. Guilty pleasures (A MUST!)- Good book, celebrity magazine, hot bath, pedicure, go to a movie, watch my reality shows. It's MY TIME for ME… and it keeps my sanity.

7. Brush Teeth, Test, Take a Shot- Daily do a dedicated regime and hard work = we can all live with this disease!

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Permalink Reply by Elaine on July 14, 2008 at 4:21pm

Well, the one thing that I tell myself is,"Check your blood sugar." I've noticed that I have a tendency to feel sad (and sleepy) when my blood sugar is higher. I get a little hyper, then hyper focused, then cranky! when my blood sugar is too low. So whatever my emotional feeling is, I know that there is something I can do about it. Better bs management makes me "feel" better, in a lot of ways.

I think that we are like all people. Emotions come and go. It is interesting to watch them. Just because I feel a feeling (e.g., sadness), that doesn't mean that I AM that feeling (e.g., sad).
The only constant is change, etc.

I do think that if a depressed feeling persists for two weeks,weekly talk therapy is in order. If radical change in your feelings doesn't occur within in 2 weeks, medication is in order. That is my belief. I also think that slipping self-care is one symptom of depression. When that is the case, talking to yourself isn't enough. It might mean joining a support group and/or getting other support systems going.

I love that you are writing about it.
:-) Elaine

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Permalink Reply by Linda Gauvin-Miller on July 14, 2008 at 4:39pm

It's great that we have this group to connect with...picking each other's brain...leaning on one another. I too have a need to check where my B.S. are when I start feeling sad out of the blue...going low, I sometimes feel that everyone's on my case....I also get snappy. Take care everyone...linda.

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Permalink Reply by Kelly on July 16, 2008 at 11:38pm

Hello there. I am willing to admit i get all kinds of diabetic blues. Wish I was a robot, life sure would be easier. I almost don't feel as if I should tell how severe my diabetic depression is, it's pretty bad. I have not worked in the past year and a half due to my illnesses (graves disease/type 1). Three months after finding out I had both of these problems at once, I became pregnant for the first time. That was a miracle in itself. Everything seemed to be going well for me, due to my not working and being pregnant I qualified for Medicaid. Sure is nice to have insurance! Well after my son was born, my Medicaid was taken from me, along with my doctors. From January of 08' until present I have been in the hospital 3 times, once by ambulance, with DKA. Needless to say, I have to reply on everyone to help me with everything, including money. My blues went to depression, now to unfortunate suicdal thoughts. I feel as if I am at my wits end. I would work if I could, but I cannot and have no way to qualify anywhere for any assistance. So the thought that I am basically dying before my eyes, and everyone else around me, is eating at me tremendously . I must say, if it wasn't for my son, I don't know if I would be here right now. Just to look into his eyes and know that it's not about me anymore is the thing that keeps me going, in slow motion, but going. So i suggest that when things are bad for you, and you have nowhere to turn, just find somebody you love and you know that could not live without you, and let them be your strength to get through the day.

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Permalink Reply by Tracy on July 17, 2008 at 12:42am

Kelly,
Hello! Have you called your county health department or local social worker who can help you find the medical care that you need? It sounds like your situation is very serious and I'm so sorry you've been through such a rough time. Suicidal thoughts should never be taken lightly and I really think you should consider an antidepressant to help you tackle the depression that is probably due to such an imbalance in hormones (post-baby), thyroid, endocrine, etc... You have been through so much and don't just rely on the love for your son to get you through because depression is so very serious and it can really alter your thought pattern. Your boy needs you, God loves you and cares about you and has hope and a future for you (Jer 29:11). Don't give up, don't lose hope - you CAN do this! Help is out there for you, Kelly! You are in my prayers!
Sincerely,
Tracy,

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Permalink Reply by Manny Hernandez on July 17, 2008 at 1:55am

Kelly:
You are not alone. I am so happy that you found us: it was meant to happen, you know? Life with diabetes can be brutal at times. But I want you to know that we are here to listen to you: you can count on us as support when you feel sad or overwhelmed.

I thought I'd share this other topic with you: one to cheer you up, amiga!

BIG HUG!!!!

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Permalink Reply by landileigh on July 17, 2008 at 2:14am

we all think at some time or another that we can't handle what life throws at us, but I always take the Scarlett O'Hara approach - tomorrow is another day! that little guy needs a mom, you have to seek out help from whatever source you can. please check with the Department of Health and Human Services in your area. They can guide you.

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